Should I feed my baby on demand or should I establish a loving and flexible routine?

Many parents ask me “should I feed my baby on demand or is it better to have a flexible routine?” Maybe we can look at both and then you can decide what works for you.

If you are breastfeeding then you will demand feed anyway to begin with to encourage your milk supply for your baby’s needs. As baby settles into feeding, after about the first week you may decide that to demand feed is easier. This means you don’t have to think about feed times, you just feed him when he wakes and cries. This may be one hour after you’ve fed him or it may be three. This means you can feed him anywhere and at any time, so baby will get used to this pattern. You may find he is very settled in the day but wants to feed every hour or so at night! With demand feeding you don’t wake him to feed, so if he sleeps for a long stretch in the day you leave him to sleep.

The benefits to demand feeding means that you can just go with the flow and not worry about any routine at all.

The disadvantages of demand feeding can be: as baby gets older are that you don’t know when feeds should be, you can’t plan your day around feeds, and also baby doesn’t really know where he is regarding feeds and wake up. Also, it’s much more difficult to teach baby to self settle and sleep well.

If you are bottle feeding you can still demand feed, but you’ll probably find baby does go into a three hourly routine. This is because you know how much he’s having at each feed and he goes for longer between feeds.

What about a flexible routine? You can do this if you’re breast or bottle feeding. This means once your milk is in, and you’ve got a good supply to meet baby’s needs, you can start to gently encourage baby into a three or four hourly routine in the day time. You will also find that he starts to sleep for longer periods at night, which is what everyone wants and needs! It’s also good for baby to have good long stretches of sleep for his growth, both physical, emotional and for his brain development.

In my experience over the years, sleep produces sleep. Babies feed well when they sleep well. Tired babies don’t feed so well as I’m sure you have found.

Babies who are fed in a lovely flexible routine are certainly very settled. They sleep well and not just as babies but when they are toddlers too, and also as older children. However we all know that there are times when babies will be unsettled and restless at night. This can be due to teething, illness or just being generally unsettled.

I’ve seen many school age children who don’t sleep well at night and they struggle with school during the day. The plus to routine feeding also, is it’s easier to teach a baby to self settle and be happy in his cot awake before he goes to sleep.

However, if you’ve been demand feeding and want to change, it’s never too late! The most important thing is that baby has good naps and sleeps well.